A few "One liners"
I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical aleutian ..
She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
Two silk worms had a race, they ended up in a tie.
A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
When cannibals ate a comedien, they thought he tasted funny.
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The kids filed into class Monday morning.
They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then share with the class how they were successful.
Little Mary led off, "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my success."
"Very good," said the teacher.
Little Sally was next, "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events."
"Very good, Sally," said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467" he said.
"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"
"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.
"Toothbrushes?" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a chocolate chip cookie stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample.
They all said, "This tastes like MUD!"
Then I replied, "It is. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"
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Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
I wasn't at the meeting but from the reports it sounded jam-packed full of news..JPG)
It's not too late to register as a volunteer or rider.
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